Practical NLP in action
This is going to be a rather personal blog post, so be forewarned. I am sharing it with for two reasons. First, it helps me by opening up and sharing a lot of things I have been carrying around in my mind. Second, there are two very valuable techniques I’m going to share with you that will help you deal with tough times in your life, and also change your state from stress or overwhelm to a more positive, happier one.
If you weren’t aware, my 8 year old brother is in a fight for his life right now. He has a very aggressive brain tumor, and since he was diagnosed he’s been fine. Until last tuesday. I guess his tumor grew a bit and it caused fluid to push on his optical nerves, and it’s making his vision blurry so he couldn’t walk without running into stuff, and he was experiencing a complete lack of energy.
I went down and saw him last week and did some advanced “energy circulation” techniques with him and made him feel a bit better. He’s doing really good now. He went to the doctor today, and was fine. But the doctor tried to isolate him and talk to him about the seriousness of his condition alone. By the way, he now has a new doctor and this is the first time they talked.
My brother takes after me — a healthy distrust of authority. He told the doctor he wasn’t going to talk to him. haha. Good for him. But it really upset my mom a lot how they tried to go over her head and make my brother Ryan do something he didn’t want to do.
So she came over and visited me after the hospital visit, and was shaken. Now I’ve been doing a lot of personal coaching lately, and what I find is people need “mind state strategies” as much as they need “internet marketing strategies”.
After we talked for a bit about it, I told my mom I wanted her to try an exercise. I told her I can see she was creating an image in her mind that was making her very stressful and overwhelmed. See, the only reason anyone experiences stress is because their brain creates certain chemical reactions in the body. That’s all stress — or any state is — a bunch of chemicals.
How does the brain know what chemicals to release? By how you take in the reality around you. And you do that with your senses, which then create a representation in your mind. So if you want to change your state, it’s simply a matter of changing how you represent your reality in your mind.
So here’s what I had her do first. I told her to bring up that image in her mind that was causing her to have stress. She did. Then I told her to paint over that image with a giant brush dipped in white paint, until the image was nothing but white. Then I told her to throw that image as far away from her as possible, and to disintegrate it so it didn’t exist.
Then I had her pull up the image again, and repeat the process, until the point that every time she pulled up that image, automatically she began to paint over it and disintegrate it. Instantly, she no longer filled stress or overwhelm.
Once I had her destroy the negative state, it was time to install a positive state in its place. So I said to her, “I want you to think of something you know you’ll be doing five years from now.” She did, and instantly she smiled and her whole body posture changed. I don’t know what she thought of, and I didn’t ask, but whatever it was, it was very positive.
Then, I told her: “Okay, point to that image. Where is it at in your mind?” She pointed slightly over her head and to her right. Then I told her to create an image of Ryan, and place that in the exact location that her previous image was. Then I had her do it three more times, until every time she thought of that image of her doing something five years from now, Ryan was also in that image.
Now whenever she thought of the future, she thought of Ryan. This was a biggie, because the doctors (aka idiots) say that Ryan only has a certain number of months left to live. The good thing about doctors is they seem to be wrong more than right.
Anyway, then I asked her to create an image of something she absolutely knew she’d be doing in 10 years. She had trouble with this. I got her to laugh to break her state, and then had her do it again and then had her point to where that image was in her mind. Then I said, “Now put an image of Ryan there”. She laughed and said she’d probably be picking him up from a probation officer’s meeting because my brother is a little hell raiser. Ha! But she was now smiling, and beaming and her whole body was glowing with positive energy. She called me later, and I could tell she was still on a “positive high”.
Anyone can use these techniques. Sure, it’s a lot easier if you had me there walking you through them. I can read body language and help guide you to make the right changes, and help you install the correct strategies. I just used a simple modality change to negatively hallucinate a bad representation of reality, and then I did a timeline shift to project a positive feeling into the future. I ran them through several times each to condition her neurology. And then I anchored them.
Total time of transformation: 5 minutes.
So I want you to try these two exercises out. Take something that has been stressing you out, and paint over that image in your my mind with white paint, and then disintegrate it. Conjure up the image again and repeat it until you start realizing that every time you create that image, you just begin to automatically paint over it and disintegrate it.
Then, create an image of something you know you’ll be doing in five years. And then take whatever skill or trait you want to have and place it in the same location as the image you created. Again, do it until you condition yourself to link the two things together. Repeat it with your ten year image. Then tell me how it made you feel by posting in this blog.
I’d love to hear your feedback on this.
-Jason
December 17th, 2008at 2:46 am
Thanks for sharing. More proof that mindset matters…and that we control it.
Timely as well, I’ve just started a new book on nlp.
Mike
December 17th, 2008at 2:54 am
G’Day Jason,
These are very good techniques, that do help.
As a person who suffers chronic pain ( since 1984 ) techniques like these help you get by on those really bad days, and more bearable.
I hope more people try these 2 techniques.
All the best to your brother and all of your family.
Sending love from the land down under.
Dan (The Ozyguy)
December 17th, 2008at 2:54 am
That’s an awesome technique and story Jason.
What resources did you learn NLP from? any you’d care to recommend?
December 17th, 2008at 3:13 am
Leonard,
That’s actually a really good question. I kind of just made them up based on mp3 recordings I heard of Richard Bandler, co-creator of NLP. What I really learned from listening to him is that the inside of most people’s heads are boring… and that you can do a lot of amazing chemistry inside your mind. So I just started experimenting with ways to change how I represented reality in my mind until I got really good at it and came up with some simple solutions.
Interestingly enough, I find most certified NLP practitioners can’t even hold a regular conversion, lol. They get to into technique, when I’m more into systems, so I just grabbed a couple things that Bandler talked about and worked on them every day until they just became second nature to me.
You can’t go wrong listening to a recording of Bandler while he’s doing a live seminar.
-Jason Fladlien
December 17th, 2008at 3:37 am
These techniques seem so amazing. Especially your choice of painting over the perceived agitating problem. I really love this. You definitely keep everyone at their sharpest and best.
Your friends and family are blessed to have you in their lives.
December 17th, 2008at 3:45 am
Jason, thanks for sharing. I’m assuming you’re doing some kind of exercises with your little brother so he can mentally begin to destroy those cancer cells inside his brain?
Kids have a great imagination and no telling what kind of fantastic results he could come up with.
I’ll keep him in the light.
Joe
December 17th, 2008at 5:03 am
The “painting over” is an AWESOME technique, Jason, but my Conscious Mind (Logical Self) is mightily resisting the future-view exercise. There is simply no way I can *know* that I’ll be doing something/anything five or ten years from now… or even five or ten days from now, for that matter. I can envision what I *want* to be doing, but it would seem that detracts from the point of your exercise. Any suggestions?
Thanks for sharing and much aloha to you and yours!
December 17th, 2008at 5:13 am
Hmm an interesting and heartfelt story Jason. I have tried NLP therapies over the past years and believe I have had positive benefits.
However I just read your story to my partner who is feeling very stressed and worn out and overwhelmed today and she says creating an image of something she ‘knows’ she’ll be doing in five years time is impossible.
Any suggestions?
Cynthia
ps I think you and your bro’ are so right not to give your power away to the doctors. In Australia the aborigines tribal law includes a process called ‘pointing the bone’
A person just needs to know that a person ‘of power’ has sentenced them to death and sure enough they die.
December 17th, 2008at 5:18 am
Debi,
Well, in a literal sense there is no way to “know” for sure. But what are you living for in the future? For example, in five years I see my self speaking before a large audience. I just feel that it what I’ll be doing in. Where do you see yourself being in five years?
If you can’t do five years, do one year or three. If you have a child, picture what grade they’ll be in three years from now. Or if you are making payments on something that you’ll pay off a few years from now, picture what it will be like when you pay it off. Is a special 5,10,15 or 20 year anniversary coming up in a few years? visualize that. Get creative
What likely happened when you tried to do the exercise is that you did different exercise instead… that’s the “have a voice in my head that brings in a bunch of questions and distracts me” exercise, lol. Just do it and trust that whatever you visualize will be right… because it almost always is.
Thanks for your reply and question Debi!
-Jason Fladlien
December 17th, 2008at 5:18 am
Thank you for sharing this with us Jason.
Lance
December 17th, 2008at 5:24 am
Cynthia,
Here is a strategy I found useful when doing this on someone else. They’ll say, “I just can’t visual five years into the future”. What I’ll often say is “Yeah, I know you can’t, but if you could, what would you see?” haha. That works a lot. The trick is to get their conscious mind out of the way.
Other times, you just have to break their patterns.
My mom said to me… “it’s hard to see 10 years in the future.” And I said in a smart alec tone, “So, mom you’ll be what, 55 then?” And she laughed and called me an asshole for saying it. But I changed her state so that she was laughing instead of trying too hard. Then I said, “Mom, just look and tell me what you see…” and she could do it.
When you try hard, that’s when your conscious mind gets in the way.
It’s not that you can’t see five years into the future, it’s just that you’re currently not using the proper strategy to see into the future. Imagine what it will be like when the next election rolls around. Picture Obama bidding for a second term. There you go.
-Jason
December 17th, 2008at 5:44 am
Wow! Thanks Jason!
You identified one of my struggles, I always go for techniques, patterns, and methods. These are good things, but limiting.
Now, I want the flexibility of a “system”. For real world functionality I need a bigger picture, that includes all the variables. Something that is a part of my identity.
I hope you can talk about that in one of your next articles!
David
December 17th, 2008at 6:16 am
That is a goodie. One goodie deserves another. Here is one that I got from http://eideticlifecoach.com. (I am not affiliate.) Wendy Yellen gives various mental processes in the field of Eidetics. This I have excerpted from her free email course. Works great at moving one into a feeling of relief:
“Emanations” Image
(All Eidetic Imagery images are developed and researched by Akhter Ahsen, Ph.D., the father of Eidetic Imagery)
As you follow each sentence below, allow your mind to see whatever appears in front of it, vivid or vague. AND, very importantly, notice what body sensations and feelings you experience as you watch.
When to use this technique: To create more responses to situations or relationships in which you feel stuck, powerless, or unable to deal effectively.
* Relax and clear your mind. Clear your mind of any images. You can do this with your eyes open or closed.
* See an image of a person in a situation in which you feel stuck, powerless, or that you are unable to deal with effectively.
* What do you see? Look at the person or situation and describe to yourself what you actually see. It can be vivid or vague, it doesn’t matter.
* How do you feel as you see the image? Notice your feelings and body sensations.
* If you could say or do anything to this person or in this situation, and it would really be all right, what would you do or say? Become aware of the energy of that desire within you.
* Now see a big wind come from the high heavens into the room and surround you. This wind is a gift from the gods.
* Feel the sensation of the wind swirling and swirling all around you.
* See another “you” jump out of your image. (For some, it pops right out of their head). The old you disappears and you become the “new you” in the image.
* What is the “new you” like?
* See that this new you does or says whatever it wants.
* What does it do or say?
* How do you feel as you see the image? Become aware of your shift to the new you.
* How is the other person or the circumstances of the situation reacting to your new self? In the image when you see the new you — with your new strengths, powers, or abilities, interacting with the other person — notice how the other person reacts or how the situation changes.
* How does the other person react now to you? If the new you that came out does not have enough strength, ability or power, repeat the process (see below).
* Now see a wind come from the heavens and surround this new you. Feel the wind, this gift from the gods, swirling around you.
* Now see another you jump out of the “new” you.
* See how this one interacts in the situation or with the person.
December 17th, 2008at 6:16 am
Jason,
As you know I am going through a pretty stressful situation in my life. I am using this technique and I am feeling more empowered now than before. Thank you.
December 17th, 2008at 6:32 am
Jason that is a great exercise! I have tried using the one Tony Robbins uses in his PP II tapes, where you snap the picture backwards and forwards, and for some reason this is really, really hard for me to do.
So I used the NLP to great effect with this one incident that did bug me a bit, and true, I do laugh now whenever I think of it, and hear clown/circus music! But in future I’m going to try the painting out method when I need to use this again.
By the way, something that has surprising effect in situations like you and your family are going through is EFT. You can get free download of manual… brilliant stuff. Get the free book on how to do EFT on myself
I often wonder how your brother is going in this journey. I wish there were more we could do to help him in some way, he is such a character by the sound of it too.
Keep up the good work.
Helene Malmsio
December 17th, 2008at 8:02 am
Hey Jason,
Thanks for sharing, I think a lot of people tend to neglect the link between physical and mental state. Anyway, great tip you’ve provided.
On the topic of NLP, do you have anything easy and applicable with regards to motivation and focus? I’m always very driven when I am starting something, but my focus and drive die extremely quickly as soon as I hit some kind of obstacle. I really need to change this and hope to hear some useful tips from you.
Have a great day!
December 17th, 2008at 8:09 am
Doctors suck when they pain everything with the doom and gloom brush.
I love it that you wrote this post.
Yavor
December 17th, 2008at 9:41 am
Hey Jason,
Glad to see that your readers are learning NLP through you. A fantastic thing you did in your post was describe a very concrete context in which you applied the technique, which is essential for new students to understand the technique.
If you wish, you can point your readers to http://www.howtomasternlp.com, my blog where I strip away all the BS and mysticism that surrounds NLP and point new students straight to the good stuff that helps them learn and master NLP even faster.
BTW, it’s admirable how you’re keeping your spirits throughout the challenge your brother is going through. How you do that is in and of itself a skill worth modeling, if there is any.
All the best,
Steve
December 17th, 2008at 10:33 am
HI Jason,
Thanks so much for sharing this story.
I have a lot of friends who have done NLP courses and I have listened to NLP techniques in tbe past but you have really bought my attention to the power of it and how it really works.
I love your insights and practical application of everything that you do and you break these things down so they are easy and actionable for us.
I really is amazing why certain challenges turn in your life, and a lot of the time they are family related. It allows you to move from being a student and start to become a teacher – very powerful insiight and transition.
It was also a great point you bought up in your email:
“The great thing about internet marketing, is that not
only does it help you make money, it helps you come up with
strategies that you can use when someone you love is in need
of help.”
This is an amazing entreprenuerial journey and is much bigger than we ever think.
Thank for sharing once again and wish you all the best with your family and your brothers health.
Regards,
Clint.
December 17th, 2008at 10:36 am
Who’d have thought?
A modality change and a timeline shift to condition your neurology and anchor your enthusiasm.
Wow, nice.
December 17th, 2008at 1:19 pm
You know Jason, I have this almost 200 page project I am working on right now and reading this has cleared it up a ton for me. It’s been slow going due to pressing matters in the family, but doing your technique made me see the project done instead of having this “sometime in the future” feeling. The stress I associated with it is gone too. Now it is just a matter of time before it’s done!
Thanks again for everything.
Cheers,
Cheryl
December 17th, 2008at 1:22 pm
P.S. Could you get an RSS feed on your blog? I like reading all my blog entries in Google Reader and having a feed makes it a snap to keep up with all my favorites. Just a suggestion.
December 17th, 2008at 3:43 pm
It’s so cool how you take things you learn and put them into practice, and then create a system you can share with others. You’re able to teach this stuff b/c you have a foundational understanding, and can help others by adjusting the details.
I’ve been learning NLP by listening to MP3s by Bill Harris, founder of Holosync (an important component of Paraliminals, which you teach about in your new Daily Seminar membership site). Powerful stuff, and fun.
As you’ve demonstrated with this example, a big part of NLP is doing end-runs around our conscious mind when it says, “that’s impossible!” It’s funny how resistant our conscious minds can be. We argue that we can’t do something that we do all the time without realizing it. We worry about things that could happen in the future. After worrying about it enough, it becomes real to us. So we actually create it. There are many ways to play with the timeline to change these patterns.
As you described how you were helping your mom, you reminded me of a step I’d forgotten. After outlining the steps you said, “And then I anchored them.” The way Bill Harris teaches anchoring is this: we record a new scenario over the old (I like the way you paint a blank canvas first). Then we “seal it in” by imagining the satisfying sound of a Tupperware container snapping closed. So you’ve got this airtight container sealing in your new movie. And you’ve activated another one of your five senses, which makes it even more powerful.
It’s so cool how you can do this stuff with your mom & brother. You’ve got it all over the doctors, with their limited belief systems. Go, Ryan!!
- Liz
December 17th, 2008at 3:54 pm
Cheryl, the RSS links are at the very bottom of the blog page, in a subtle lighter blue than the blue background trim. No orange icon. At least, that’s where I see it on my screen. There’s an RSS for Entries, and one for Comments.
- Liz
December 17th, 2008at 4:45 pm
Jason, what an idea. For years I maintained a private practice as a hypnotherapist, specializing in weight loss and smoke cessation. You’ve made a very complex challenge simple. There are hundreds of ways this method can put a person on a fast track to success. Thanks a million for being thoughtful enough to share this vital information.
December 17th, 2008at 4:49 pm
I do a version similar to this that I learned from Bon, there’s also a similar exercise in psychocybernetics.
What I do is envision what I want to get rid of engulfing in flames and reduced from ashes, with the thing that I want to replace it being reborn from the ashes.
December 17th, 2008at 6:08 pm
Good job, Jason!
I believe I can use this technique to crate a positive image of me writing articles with your 7 minute method. I have a real blockage there. The technique you taught us about making it appear fun with a clown costume, etc. didn’t work for me, but I believe this will.
I pray that your little brother live the next 90 years. Too bad his doctors won’t be around to see it happen. lol
December 17th, 2008at 8:36 pm
Dear Jason,
First, know that I’ve added your little brother to my prayers and sending healing light. You didn’t mention EFT here – your little brother could benefit from that modality as well, since he’s old enough to do it. (Get the EFT manual free at emofree.com)
It’s wonderful to see that you have a helpful & workable way to cope with the stress of your little brother’s illness – most of us would crumble. I wish each of you the strength you need and finding joy in special moments each day.
It’s beautiful to see how you have helped your mother – since she’s hurting deeply from all of this tragedy in your lives) and I plan to apply it to the stress in my life. Your NLP training must come in handy for many other things in life as well, have you created a product based on it yet?
Thank you again – you are a very deep, amazing young man.
May God bless & care for you & yours always,
Donna
December 18th, 2008at 3:24 am
Love this post. Thanks for sharing. Your little brother seems to be quite an impressive kid, not surprisingly, what with the big brother he has a s a role model
Love the NLP techniques. So straightforward and doable.
I think I’ll have to link this page to my Self-Help Blog. My readers will really like this.
About your brother… You mentioned energy techniques. I’m a great fan of that. Are you familiar with Quantum Touch? It’s very cool stuff. It’s also quite uncomplicated and very powerful!
I liked it so much I became a practitioner, and cut down my chiro treatments from twice a week to once every month or so, feeling better in the meantime too.
In fact, I just wrote a post on it on my blog a couple of days ago (coincidence! Or serendipity, who knows)).
You can find more info on QT at http:/www.quantumtouch.com if you like
December 18th, 2008at 8:45 pm
Thank you so much for sharing the link to this post on my blog. I think you are right, not only will my readers find it helpful, but I sure did as well!
Thanks again.
Jackie
December 19th, 2008at 12:08 am
Elisabeth,
I’m not familiar with quantam touch. If it’s simple, I’m interested! lol. I use “energy cycling”. It’s a technique I just made up, that I discovered when I was a monk. It’s a bit harder to explain how to do it, but basically I create an energy loop between me and my brother so that whenever we are around each other, it circulates good energy between us. Far out stuff, for sure. Wonder what the doctors would say about that!
thanks for the sharing the QT link I’ll check it out.
To Jackie: LOL, at first I wondered what you meant. Then I went to the blog and seen someone else had posted it: big thanks to them for sharing it! Feel free to share the link to this blog to anyone you’d feel would benefit from it.
Thanks,
Jason
December 19th, 2008at 7:15 pm
Ditto on the QT – it works like your energy cycling. Let me send you my copy of the book use it as long as it is beneficial. then pass it on
December 20th, 2008at 1:32 am
[...] Jason’s excellent article on NLP [...]
December 20th, 2008at 2:04 am
HI Jason,
I just (finally) posted a post on your post on my blog. Also helps me find it again quickly when I want to reread the exercises
http://myfavoriteselfhelpstuff.com/less-stress/nlp-for-stress-relief-and-emotional-self-help-great-article-by-jason-fladlien/
And if you go down a couple of posts on the Homepage (or click on the Quantum Touch section on the sidebar, there’s one on QT too.
QT is simple enough. At first I thought, well, you’re so high-energy you might find it a bit boring, but then I remembered you also meditate, so you might really enjoy it. Kids do very well with it too — you can even teach it to your brother and he can do it himself too (though it’s even more powerful when someone else is doing it).
Some people have called it Reiki on steroids…
December 21st, 2008at 7:16 pm
Jason – thanks for the post. It served as a much needed reminder for ways to turn around a tough time.
December 26th, 2008at 1:44 am
Jason,
Thanks for sharing these great techniques. I recently went through a very difficult time in my life and I’m sure I am not over it yet. I think your techniques will help me and I am anxious to give them a try. Enjoyed the comments from other readers, too.
All the best,
Gerald
January 6th, 2009at 11:04 pm
Hi there, Useful information for fluid bicycle trainers and your post regarding Practical NLP in action looks very interesting. I always like to leave comments when I see a good looking website. Keep up the great work.
February 5th, 2009at 9:59 am
Im trying to upgrade to a pair of Xenon bulb conversion for my roommate’s 1993 Chevy and was curious if someone had any advice?
I have researched and read on these sites for information but any personal experienced tips would be really helpful.
hid kits
March 11th, 2009at 10:16 am
Just thought I would drop you a note to let you know I just popped in again to print out the instructions and have another go with this technique.. thanks again Jason!
I hope that you are going along alright nowadays. All the best to you and your loved ones from me and mine,
Helene