I’m writing a hardcover book, want to be in it?
January 23, 2010 by fladlien
Filed under Uncategorized
Hello,
I was chatting on skype with my good friend
Marlon Sanders this morning on skype. In
addition to being the king of step by step
marketing, he’s also probably the sharpest
mind I know for coming up with “Big
ideas”.
He gave me one this morning about a topic
I believe is so powerful, that it could
be the next “made to stick” or “tipping point”
or a Seth Godin style hardcover biz pop
book.
If you know me, you know I have an “implementation
fetish”. As soon as I hear a good idea, I have
to act on it since I’ve conditioned myself
to do so.
This new book is on a very clever, hypnotic
way to get attention. I’ve actually been
using it a LOT lately and have seen a healthy
increase in sales, and also in face to face
communication outside of the business
world.
Anyway, here’s where you come in. I want to
include a lot of anecdotal stories to support
the different principles in my book about
getting attention.
The book is going to be interrupting people’s
natural patterns.
See, one of the flaws of the human mind is
our incredible ability to generalize stimuli.
Something happens to us once or twice – and
then we pretty much generalize is as an
inevitable outcome.
For example, a lot of people will set a big
goal… work at it for maybe a week (or less!)
and then it won’t work.
And then they often conclude either that
goal setting doesn’t work, or at least it doesn’t
work for them.
A had a client recently who told me that.
You know what my response was? “Yep, you’re right,
you’re absolutely horrible at setting goals. I don’t
think you could set a goal you could ever reach.
Ever. In fact, if you set a goal to be a miserable
failure, you’d probably fail at that, too!”
And guess what? They went on to argue with me
that they COULD set a goal and achieve it if they
went about it in the right way.
So I said “what would it take for you to start
out the RIGHT WAY this time?” And they proceeded
to tell me exactly what they needed to do differently.
At the end of the call the person thought I was
a genius. Can you believe I get paid $250 for this
stuff?
Awesome.
Back on tangent: what I did was interrupt their
pattern. Almost everybody else they would talk to
would say, “Goal setting does work. You just aren’t
going about it right. Blah blah blah”… and that’s
not as effective because they are so USED to hearing
that it doesn’t jar them, doesn’t challenge their
model of reality and doesn’t get them to THINK in
a different frame.
So here’s what I want from you – please post a response
with a time when you did something completely out
of the ordinary to help someone get a different result
or a different response.
It doesn’t have to be just business – it could be with
your children, a college at work, or even when you were
in school writing a paper.
Whatever.
It could even be an ad you saw. I just read an old
ad this morning with the headline “lingerie for men…”
Tell me that is NOT impossible to read on. That’s a
great way to interrupt someone’s normal pattern of how
they look at advertising – because it totally shocks
their system!
Anyway, if you have a great idea or story you’d like
to share with me, reply to this blog post and share it.
If I like it and want to use it, I’ll contact you
for permission. If I do use it, I will make sure to
give you credit in the book.
I’m excited about this! Looking forward to your input!
-Jason Fladlien
The best thing i’ve ever done with my time was to give back in the way of a blog that helps people with their own financial issues. I get coaching requests and so on – it just goes to show that people are willing to reciprocate when you can help them out .
Dwight Anthony
Financially Elite Blog dot Com
During a seminar we were asked what we would do if we were caught up in a dark room with three things – a pencil, a piece of paper, and a matchbox with only one match stick.
Everyone came up with different ideas
Some said they’ll write something and throw it outside
Others said they’ll burn the paper and send smoke signals
At the end the speaker asked us “what about moving around the room to measure the length and breath of the room?” and “what about eavesdropping near the wall to guess what’s going on outside”
See, the moment we were told that we had only 3 things our mind started revolving around those 3 things to come up with a solution.
I so often see young parents having a difficult time getting their children to do what they want them to do. A temper tantrum erupts and the parent gives into the spoiled child. The solution is so simple and one I used for all 4 of my kids when they were growing up and they use now on their own kids.
“You give a child 2 choices that you can live with. Only two. “You can do/have/eat this or this.” That’s it. When a child is allowed to make their own choice from the two you have set up, they will pick one and be happy about it. Because you gave them the 2 choices you could live with, it is a win-win situation.
I have seen the same thing with Internet Marketing. If you give an adult just 2 choices, most of the time they will pick one. If you give them more than 2 choices, for some reason they get confused, can’t make a choice and end out selecting nothing. Limit the choices you offer a prospect to only two.
What a breath of fresh air to take my mind off after a intense day. Great article that really gets the point covered. Thank you for taking the time.
It’s crucial that i’ve found this article on google , keep up the good work mate …I’ve just subscribed to your feeds. Cheers Up!
I was helping my 13 year old daughter with math. It was my regular, nightly routine, help her with math after supper is cleaned up.
“Math sucks! I hate math” she exclaimed after she told me 13 minus 8 is 11.
I was holding a 6 inch thin flexible plastic ruler that she had been using as a bookmark. The next time she made a simple error like 16-7 = 22, I reached up and flipped her in the forehead with the ruler. She blinked and laughed, and asked why I did that. I told her every time she guesses or makes really silly math mistakes, I get to flip her in the forehead with the ruler. We continued. After a few, flips, she quit making mistakes. The entire year forehead flipping was “the game” for the rest of the year. Surprisingly, by the end of the school year, her grade was up from a B- to A-.
This year she has had A grades in math, and seldom needs help. She laughs now how math isnt as bad as she thought it was.
I’m often included in panel discussions, or I’m part of an investigation team, at ghost-related events. People usually expect me to be a “true believer,” and — believers and skeptics alike — they’ve often made up their minds before they even meet me.
It rattles people when, after a couple of sentences, I remind people that we can’t prove that ghosts exist. We can prove that something odd is going on… but we can’t prove that a ghost caused it. Not in scientific terms, anyway.
Whether the person was there for affirmation of his or her belief in spirits, or if someone’s there to raise an eyebrow or even heckle me, most of them rethink the beliefs they arrived with.
Breaking free of what people believe (and expect) gets them thinking, and that may be the best thing you can do for anyone. Life is best lived with the mind fully engaged.
Jason,
You’ve got a great concept here! What a great way to bring our experiences together so that we can take with us inspiration, insight, and some good old fashion common sense ideas packaged in the way people seem to learn best…from other people! Your invitation to contribute brought to mind an experience of my own that I want to share.
Several years ago I attended a technical school. I had around 5 classes per semester, but the class size was only around 10 to 12 people. We stayed together as a group in all 5 classes, which is to say most of us became well acquainted throughout the passing semesters. The age range in our group varied from around 25 to 42 years of age. I was 40 at the time, and I was privileged to have been thought of as somewhat of a class leader, which is to say I came to know most everyone pretty well. One of my classmates, Becky, was a woman around 30 years old. Anyway, she was talking to me one day about problems she was having with her marriage. She knew I was (and still am) a very devoted family man to my wonderful wife and children. She told me this made her feel comfortable confiding in me with her marital problems. The details themselves are not necessary to make my case in point here, but I’ll put it this way…she was surprisingly objective in describing the issues troubling her, meaning she admitted things she felt that she had been wrong about, as well as what she felt her husband, Mike, was doing wrong. Neither one was having an affair, nor was either of them considering anything of the sort, at least at that point and time. They both had good jobs but their schedules conflicted as far as being able to spend normal quality time with each other and their son. They both made pretty good money, so finances weren’t really an issue. Their troubles were basically putting distance between them and it was starting to affect their son due to his fear that they were going to split up. There was never any physical abuse or anything like that. She said Mike was becoming increasingly “closed off” as far as discussing matters with her.
I suggested that she not focus on the things that were troubling them, even as far as not mentioning any of the issues between them. Instead, I said that she concentrate on being the best wife that she knew how to be. Further, I told her that if he throws a sarcastic word to her, to not answer back with sarcasm, even if that meant not saying anything at all. The negativity was consuming them both and one of them needed to cut it off, or to not meet a negative “action” with a negative “reaction” because it becomes a constant cycle of negativity that will choke the life out of them both. She said she would do her very best to be her very best.
Well, about 10 days later, I injured my hand at work which left me unable to write for several weeks. This forced me to leave school permanently. I lost contact with Becky, as well as my other classmates. About 3 months went by, and one day my wife and I were in town shopping and running errands. We were coming out of one of the stores from shopping, and we ran into Becky and Mike in the parking lot. They were holding hands and you could tell they were happy. She and I introduced Mike and my wife to each other. Becky told me that she took my advice and it took about 3 weeks and Mike changed his outlook on their relationship and that that they had never been happier. They both thanked me and I got a hearty handshake and a big hug. I told them that it wasn’t me that they should thank. I said that they should thank each other, along with the Man upstairs. I said all I did was plant a seed, or a thought, to Becky when she had confided in me. But it was both of them that put it into motion. We talked for a few minutes and said our goodbyes. That was the last time I ever saw them.
The bottom line is this: Your focus controls your thoughts, your attitude, your decisions…your life! Whatever you plant in your mind is what grows inside you! And what grows inside you is magnified when it comes out of you because you have nurtured it the exact same way as if you were growing a garden vegetable or a flower. And it all begins with the seed…if you plant a seed of corn, you harvest corn. If you plant a flower seed, you get flowers. If you plant negativity in your mind, guess what! No matter how hard you try, you cannot plant oranges and expect to get apples! Keep your focus on the prize that your after as opposed to fear, doubt, negativity, or failure! Sure, you’re going to make a mistake every now and then, but so does everybody else! You treat your mistakes as a learning tool, learning not to do it again. So keep your focus in the right perspective and your eyes on your success!
Just in Case – One of My Mentors Said Wisdom , in Business Selections IS to Listen To Those Who present You a Great Product with Mentors that Are Successful.. This Young Man Jason Fladlien – Has surrounded Himself With QUALITY and I Believe He Will Help Me Get Sales – Sales Are EZ If You Know How an Where to Place Ads.. His Products Look Fine.. I have been Marketing Online over 10 years and Millionaire Mentor Robert Kiyosaki Shares His Forecast in Regard to Quality Marketing and Payplans You Will Prosper With.. on my Team anyway..
My life makes people change there way of thinking.It is not what I do but who I am.Let me explain more I know everything happens for reasons.I just don’t believe in God I know Jesus is God and my savor and Lord.I don’t go out and push what I know onto others but I show them I am a Cristian by what and who I live my life.I was told 12 years ago many times that I was go to die. I never in my Heart believed I was going to die,but they were right I have died before so I did that I am done with it.They say in life you only have to do two things pay taxes and die.Well I done both of them.So now I don’t have to do nether of them.I have many unknown illness and some that they do know.I hurt all the time. I am ill a lot and in and out of the hospital a lot.That does not stop me from living my life to the fullest.T set Goals that I am going to reach about prosperity and wealth most about giving.I work at my goals and people know this about me.People see thing different after knowing me.It is nothing I do out off my way.So if you read this you know my secret to why it is what is. thank you for you time Leon
p.s. http://www.Outreachsocialsite.com is not up yet. But look for the grand opening February 10 2010
I used a principle of breaking expected routine over 20 years ago to pick up girls. At my two-year college I wrote my name and number on a a few cards I picked up at the Standards Office (the only time anyone ever went there was if they were in trouble with the Standards Code).
If I saw a really cute girl with some minor standards code violation, I’d sometimes walk up to her or sit by her with my buddy. She was expecting me to try to pick her up.
Instead, I would hand her Standards Office a card, and after a moment of silence and wondering, I would accuse her of a standards violation (usually false, but for a few real sassy ones who really were in violation). When she’d got shocked and turned red and got flustered and everything else, I would either “let her go” with a warning, or back off with a joke.
The shock, relief, and playfulness made it quite easy to get to know them right then and sometimes even set up a date. It generally worked well, and all had fun.
–
My young daughters were facing each other and heatedly arguing (*not* the first time, this is a habit, where the heck did they pick that up from?) and yelling at each other, standing right in front of a full-length mirror in our bedroom.
I jumped in very quickly and told them to turn and look (not something daddy usually does). When they turned and looked, they saw themselves in the mirror, and it caught them off-guard. On top of that, I repeatedly told them to keep arguing (not something daddy usually does). They tried to keep going, but especially after they also saw each other’s reflection, not only did they stop arguing, they couldn’t really even talk. They stood there for a split second, broke out in smiles, then started laughing. Their argument was over.
(I’ve got a few more–counseling, business coaching, family and nature, etc., if you’re interested.)
I read a blog post mentioning Apple’s first iPod commercial “one thousand songs in your pocket” [or something similar] and it instantly clicked. I couldn’t sleep until I jot it down and from that day on I decided to make it a main concept in my blogging projects, copywriting activities and other businesses I run or help my clients with. It was a tremendous eye-opening “idea” caughting my attention like a speed bullet
P.S. Looking forward to your book!
Hi Jason,
great, writing a book! I’ve done a lot of translating and illustrating but I never came around to writing my own stuff, strange when I come to think of it, well it is the year of the tiger and since I am one according to my chinese brothers, it might be time to get to it finally.. But first my story for you.
I am a jack-of-all-trades and I have done a million things. Apart from diving into online marketing I am still a practicing regression therapist. These days I only have a handful of clients and I wouldn’t want it any other way because the work is very intensive though hugely satisfying.
One day a new client came in, she told me about her life and it wasn’t pretty. We talked some and I did a short regression session with her which gave her some emotional relieve and insights and in the end she went away with new hope, or so it seemed. The next session she was in despair and convinced that her life was useless and that suicide was the only real solution. My warmth and sympathy gave her a little hope again and we went for another regression which brought her new peace of heart and fresh insights. This time though I gave her ‘homework’ to implement her new insights in her daily life. Next session came and to my surprise and disappointment she had reverted back to her former dark cloud hopelessness and the whole process started again. After she went home I was hopeful that she had made a breakthrough this time. Unfortunately when she came in for her next session, she was back at square one, dark despair and suicide talk. I was getting angry feeling like Buffy wrestling one though demon-bastard. Then it came to me, I told her: ‘Look, this is going nowhere, I think I made a mistake and I ‘m going to correct it. Firstly I have to respect your wishes and if you really want to kill yourself I fully respect that. You can find good information on the web on how to do it quickly and painlessly, so your homework will be to ask yourself if this is your true wish an if so to act on it. In that case I will attend your funeral and will wish you a good journey. If not I will see you back here in two weeks and you will never mention suicide again.’ I played high stakes and I did have a few sleepless nights, but to my relieve she phoned me a week later and told me that she had chosen life and if I would want to continue the sessions with her. We did five more sessions and she managed to turn her life around. She started acting and singing which gave her real satisfaction and..new friends and lovers. She really had embraced life and she now lived it fully. For me it was great to be a part of someones fight to break such a crippling pattern.
Good luck with your book, great project and I hope you can use my story,
Friendly greetings,
Egmond Petzoldt
Hello Jason and other readers.
I have always told others, that the memory section of the brain is not unlike a video recorder. It hold ALL of your past, both good and bad. When a situation arises that needs ‘assessing,’ off it goes and finds the same or similar experience which then allows you to make the comparison to what you are currently experiencing.
Well, just like the video recorder, the brain has an erase mechanism, and I tell people to use it to replace the ‘bad’ things with lots of ‘good’ things. It does no good to erase everything bad, because if you did, what would you be able to guage the ‘good’ against? Reprogram and retrain yourself in the positive.
Let the others be the negatives and you soar like an eagle, whilst they flounder around like pigs in mud. They might be happy doing what they are doing, but it ISN’T getting them anywhere.
Good luck with your book idea. It’s a winner!
At one point in my life, I was called upon to help a victim who had been raised by people involved in vicious criminal acts – the sort that would get them the death penalty if they were found out. Naturally they went to great lengths to ensure their victim would never reveal anything to anyone and a big part of their indoctrination was continual threats to kill both the victim and anyone whom the victim might confide in. This was majorly confirmed at a young age when the victim sought help from a teacher. The teacher suddenly “vanished” without a trace and this victim was forced to participate in the “disappearance.” So there was no doubt their threats were real.
Despite this, I was able to learn the details of what had been done without giving the victim a heart attack or a mental breakdown. Can you guess how I did it?
Sorry to be so cryptic, but I’m not sure this would be suitable material or that I would want my name connected. You can contact me if curious though.
Confidential
I was chatting with another internet marketer explaining a challenge I had with moving forward on a particular project due to me shying away from dealing one on one with customer support. Not for any ‘shady’ reasons, simply because I have always allowed myself to be slightly shy is all.
He asked me “If you were to create a product and not have to deal with the support issues, how could that be done in a way that it would satisfy you?” and my internal response was to get naturally protective over ‘my things’ and realize I wanted to support any clients personally so I could make sure they were taken care of in a way that I was 100% happy with.
Bang. Almost instantaneous change of direction. Within a week, out of the blue, I was contacted by another marketer and asked if I wanted to manage the support desk for a course with over 1000 members, which I graciously accepted and have really, really enjoyed doing! That would have been something I would have turned down flat only days before.
Most times what we are steering clear of is exactly where the biggest room for growth is.
Good luck with the book Jason. Should be fun.
Jason;
This one has changed my whole belief system, religious outlook, ufo preceptions, lifestyle. I had follow a link in another website and landed on us.figu.org. I was reading a book document titled ‘Goblet of Truth’. On one of the English version pages, i read the statement ” there is no heaven … due to fact that a human;s spirit [soul] is reincarnated into another body personality”,
later ” no hell, was made up by the deluded”.
I being then a devote Christian fundamentalist, was shocked to say the least…. but unlike some, my mind was open to ideas, to growth to what lay ahead. After a time not too long i can to belief a new truth.
Hey Jason,
A few months ago, I received a phone call from my cousin. He had just had a long conversation with someone that we both know, who had called him to whine, moan, complain and gripe to him (again) about how bad the economy, and life, in general, are.
We started talking about how many people we know who do nothing but complain, instead of taking action to better their situations.
Lo and behold, while we were talking, I got a phone call on the other line, from someone else who wanted to hold a pity party.
I started to tell him to stop complaining and do something about his situation. But I didn’t. Instead, I said you know what? Go ahead. Tell me all about it. Get it all out of your system. Get your gripe on! And then maybe you can look for solutions to what is bothering you.
He talked until he didn’t have anything else to say. When he was finished, he thanked me and said that I really helped him, just by listening, letting him “get it off his chest” and not telling him to shut up. He said he felt better after I let him “get his gripe on.”
After that I called my cousin back and told him that I had thought of something we could do for fun that would probably help people relieve some stress too.
What if, instead of trying to get people to stop complaining all the time, we encouraged them to gripe all they want, night and day, so they can clear their heads and then work on solutions to what’s bugging them?
And what it if we could finally find a way to use all of this griping “for good – instead of evil” (as the old TV line goes)?
As a former counselor for young boys in a detention center, and a worker in a group home for adults with mental health issues, I had to study some psychology and learned that one of the biggest complaints that many people have in life, is that they don’t have anyone to talk to about the things that bother them.
Anyhow, we created a blog called GetYourGripeOn.com, where people can have fun, relieve stress (a HUGE problem in our society) and find some solutions to some of the stuff that bugs them in life.
Like I said, this is mainly for fun (my main business is internet marketing), so we haven’t promoted it at all – at least, not yet.
Anyway, we came up with several ways that we can help people with this.
First, we came up with a bunch of categories that people can gripe about, from money, to relationships, to politics, to sports, to animals, to sex and more (almost 50 categories so far, and people can suggest others).
Second, we have a newsletter called the Gripe Vine, in which we’ll talk about the stuff that is really “griping” people in life, along with some solutions to reducing or eliminating those issues.
Third, if people have to complain, we might as well do some good with those complaints. If this thing takes off, we’ll have some griping contests. People will pay a fee to enter the contest to see who has the best gripes.
And we’ll give the money to some worthy charity. Maybe we’ll call the contest “Gripe Against Hunger” or “Gripe Against Cancer”, or something like that.
And you know those people who always contact you, saying that this internet marketing stuff doesn’t work, but when you get the truth out of them, it’s not the IM that doesn’t work, but them who won’t work?
I’m considering sending all of my prospects like that to the site, so they can gripe until the cows come home and then get down to business – if that’s what they choose.
As time allows, I will have some fun with this, putting up posts about stuff that gets on my nerves in life. And I’ll encourage others to do the same.
I believe in people having choices. And yes, that includes having the right to gripe. But I’ll always encourage people to not just gripe about what bothers them, but to look for positive solutions to the issues (and take action), so they can improve their lives.
And I’ll tell all of these “gripers” what I always tell subscribers to my NetCashTips newsletter –
Nothing happens until YOU do something. Now go, take action and prosper!
what goes round comes round”l worked with a company for 7 years but one day l made a mistake doing something wrong but for my mistake l was sacked and l apeal to my boss to help me out because l got family to feed and house mortgage to pay but my boss refused to listen to me. l went to my Boss office on Christmas eve and my boss told me to get out because He does not want to see my face. l said so you can not wish me Merry Christmas, and He said no just go.That time he said l dont want to see you again so go and sort your life out and dont come to me again.Since christmas tme l stayed home looking for job but l could not get any job, but my wife was very supportive and early in the morning today my boss rang and siad will you help me because l got a court case and you are the only one that can help me.Therefore will you help me.Now you see that what goes roud comes round.
My eight-year-old son Zachary *could not* (according to him) remember all the punctuation rules he needed for an upcoming test.
I said, “Can you remember PCC BED?” I will give you a dime if you say “PCC BED” one hundred times.
He did.
I said, “When the test comes around, ask for a piece of scrap paper and write down ‘PCC BED.’”
P stands for punctuation always goes inside the quotation marks.
C is for capitalizing the first word in someone’s quote.
C is for “comma separates Zachary.” That is, when someone is addressing you, they have to stop and put a comma before and after your name unless it’s the beginning or end of a sentence.
B is book titles are capitalized and underlined.
E is for “entire names.” That is, Mr. Zachary Hage all start with capital letters.
D is for double sentences are tricks. (Think second-grade level questions; it made sense for him.)
It worked. He understood and passed with flying colors.
I had a friend stop my place one day, he had just bought one of those real estate investment courses, and he wanted to change his situation…and so did I. So that day we decided that we wanted to buy and flip a house.
Neither one of us could afford to add another mortgage payment, nor would we even qualify because we each had our own house and families. We really didn’t even a clue where we’d get the finances to purchase and renovate the house, but we just knew we would.
We started by going to some mortgage brokers to get some more info and just to see what our options were. We probably went to 6 or 7 within a couple of days, and each time we got the same answer…NO, NO, NO…they all said there was no way we’d get any financing, considering our current situations, and to basically give up the crazy notion.
I can clearly remember what I said when we walked out of the last brokers office…’We will get the money and we will realize this goal, with or with out you’ I was kinda fed up, but never wavered from the goal.
The next day I was searching around on the Internet for other sources of funding. I found REIN, Real Estate Investors Network, so I posted our request for a partnership agreement. The next day I got a call at my workplace. It was an investor that saw my post and wanted to talk.
We talked about the basic conditions of a potential agreement, and within an hour, he faxed a one page, very simple agreement to me, I read it, signed it, and sent it back.
It ended up that our investor, whom we had never met, paid the entire cost of the house we found. He sent a check, in trust, for $64,000. We did the reno, put about $8,000 into it, then we sold it and made a profit of about $22,000 in 2 months. Our investor made slightly less then us, so he was very pleased as well.
So from the time we decided, until we found and bought the house, was about 2 weeks. Not bad considering where we started.
I believe that the things you focus on, or set as true goals, become reality, some how, some way.
As a society we tend to not believe more than we are taught to believe. As a kid I remember my mom and other family relatives always telling me “You can do anything you put your mind to!” But if I ever said that “I was going to change the world”, or “I was going to be the next millionaire” I usually got the “yea, right” or “good luck” response. Society tends to believe you CAN, but doesn’t expect you to do so.
I thank my mom everyday for having used reverse psychology on me in order to get me to do what she wanted me to do. It is because it has conditioned me to use it on myself, or has given me a “stubborn streak.” And since I’m the analytical/intellectual type of person who always has to “analyze” things it keeps me constantly striving for “bigger and better.” Discovering the mechanics of things and learning what makes something work this way or that way is the motivation I posses to continue to strive. I love puzzles.
What puzzles me though is why society expects the young to attend college. The idea is to better one’s self, but in all reality most people that attend put in all that time, money, and effort only to “settle” for a job that gets them by! So do you do it based on “tradition” because your parents did and expect you to also, or is it for “prestige” to say you did it and to hold a degree. As a society we believe in being “individual” but think and act “collectively!” We let tradition or prestige stand in our way.
We need to become individual and motivate ourselves. We need to stop living by tradition and truly strive for bigger and better!
As a society we tend to not believe more than we are taught to believe. As a kid I remember my mom and other family relatives always telling me “You can do anything you put your mind to!” But if I ever said that “I was going to change the world”, or “I was going to be the next millionaire” I usually got the “yea, right” or “good luck” response. Society tends to believe you CAN, but doesn’t expect you to do so.
I thank my mom everyday for having used reverse psychology on me in order to get me to do what she wanted me to do. It is because it has conditioned me to use it on myself, or has given me a “stubborn streak.” And since I’m the analytical/intellectual type of person who always has to “analyze” things it keeps me constantly striving for “bigger and better.” Discovering the mechanics of things and learning what makes something work this way or that way is the motivation I posses to continue to strive. I love puzzles.
What puzzles me though is why society expects the young to attend college. The idea is to better one’s self, but in all reality most people that attend put in all that time, money, and effort only to “settle” for a job that gets them by! So do you do it based on “tradition” because your parents did and expect you to also, or is it for “prestige” to say you did it and to hold a degree. As a society we believe in being “individual” but think and act “collectively!” We let tradition or prestige stand in our way.
We need to become individual and motivate ourselves. We need to stop living by tradition and truly strive for bigger and better!
Hello Jason,
You’re always up to some fun project!
My situation occurred when we were driving up to Whistler, B.C., a ski mountain, in the middle of summer.
My son was about 6 years old, and was disappointed that he wouldn’t be able to see any snow on the mountain.
I told him, well nothing is impossible. I had taught my son a type of chanting meditation “ah”, so suggested to him that we chant and see if we can make it snow.
My son was in disbelief, but I told him to wait and see what happens.
The next morning we woke up and looked outside and there was snow!
The only time it snowed on the mountain all summer long.
We had many more chanting episodes over the years, changing the way we wanted things to work out.
Cheers,
Glenn
Dennis,
That’s a great story. I think most people don’t realize the power of simply making 5 dollars or even 1 dollar a day and then scaling it up. Most people want to start of making $500 a day (including me when I started).
I think if most people started off with smaller goals they wouldn’t be so disappointed and wouldn’t give up so quickly.
I was leading a web strategy session for a client who *never* follows his good ideas through to completion and consequently beats themselves up into a guilty mess afterward…
When I called this person up for our meeting they IMMEDIATELY started rattling off what’s wrong with them and giving me all the reasons they’re unsuccessful, this person had worked themselves up to the point of tears…
I quickly raised my voice (uncharacteristic of me) and interrupted with: “EXCUUUSE ME– WE HAVEN’T EVEN STARTED YET!”
The person immediately stopped crying/beating themselves up and even giggled (because of the awkwardness I purposely created?)…
I was then able to re-frame their perspective by taking the client through *my* process (instead of them taking me through theirs, which clearly doesn’t work or else they wouldn’t be talking with me in the first place!)
This is awesome stuff you’ve helped me learn, Jason. Keep up the good work.
-Costas
Actually this is somewhat similar to the strategy you used when you were working with your client.
It’s a scene from the movie “you, me and dupree” – it’s nothing fancy but it’s a good example. I can’t seem to find a clip of it, but, basically, it’s a scene where Dupree (Carl’s best friend) convinces Carl, who was having a tough time with his marriage, of his so called “Carlness” (his uniqueness, his specialness, what makes him invincible no matter what) and that the power of his love for his Molly, his wife, was all that was needed to save the marriage. And after trying many of the usual persuasion tactics without success, he starts insulting Molly on purpose – saying he, Dupree, actually never had a good feeling about her – she was always so bla, bla, bla and whatsoever. Suddenly, Carl, who was emborking shots as a sign of self-defeat, angrily responded back, saying something like: “Wowowo, now you hold on a second!!! Molly is the single best thing that has ever happened to me…” – And then, finally, he realized the power of his love for her, and that nothing else mattered apart from that.
Lame, but eitherway, a good a example of a pattern interrupt.
A friend of mine has lots of similar tricks. One that I can recall off the top of my head is asking yourself a question in a certain way that tricks your brain into breaking out of old, limiting beliefs. The basic question is something along the lines of “what would it be like if you were the kind of person who…?”
For example, in the situation you described of the person who didn’t believe that goal setting worked for them you could have asked them “what would it be like if you were the kind of person who was able to set goals and achieve them?”
The reason this question will often work is that if the person sincerely tries to answer it, the first thing their brain must do is put themselves into the shoes (so to speak) of a person who CAN set goals and achieve them. And doing that forces out their previous belief that they are NOT that kind of person.
Jason,
It would be great to see your book… born from an idea on a Skype conversation.
This reminds me of something…
We had a saying back when we were students and had a lotta parties to go to:
“The worst party is the one you prepare for – the best one is the one we’re having right now!” – and man… we knew how to party trust me! These are golden age memories, he, he…
So I only wanna say, I suppose, that you just had a great ‘party’ with Marlon, isn’t it?
Now, back to the topic.
You know, making people think differently (outside the box – as they say) is pretty hard. The guy who moldered this concept is a Maltese psychologist – Edward de Bono – who wrote a book in 1967 about it, but he used a term that he rather coined himself: “lateral thinking.”
In the book there are methods he describes that will train your brain to start break the patterns and move one step aside, to look at the problem from a different angle and consequently, find a different solution for it.
I found myself many times in similar situations, when the common thinking patterns wouldn’t have been useful, but a brilliant idea suddenly brought light to the map allowing me to see the exit from the maze.
However, what I’m about to share with you is condensed in a fable like story I used in my eBook here:
Blonde Mary YOU and Red Ferrari
It is the story of the three tailors and it has to do with smart marketing and advertisement.
I have decided to to offer free access to that eBook to all your readers too, to be able to benefit from its wisdom. So guys, go grab a copy asap
Please read it and tell me if you wanna use it?
The eBook itself explains in simple terms how to segment the market and find a good niche online, but you just take what you need, please, and let me know. Thanks!
Steve Lorenzo SEOVirtuoso
PS
I will go now to bookmark this page, to help you get as much traffic as possible to it. Be well!
oops, meant to say “that was doable in my mind”.
After failing in the IM business for over 3 years… after listening and following countless guru’s advice… after reaching a point of desperation and refusing to give up…
One day I got myself into a quiet setting and said to myself, since I obviously can’t find a way to earn big money doing this, what level can I expect?
My personal answer was that I could find something to make me $5/day recurring income, that was doable in my find, and I set out that week to at least accomplish that.
Lo and behold, it worked! So I continued to seek out new income streams every week to earn me $5/day recurring income, and they kept coming.
The key was focusing on small victories instead of chasing new bright shiny objects every time a guru said he was making 6 figures with his tactics. Yeah, right, maybe he was, but who else.
Eventually I wrote about my “think small” strategy which I coined the “5 bucks a day” strategy, and I think it’s fair to say it’s helped a lot of others succeed as well.
Jason,
A couple of weeks ago I was at a business networking lunch with about 40 people, each of whom was allowed to give a one minute elevator pitch about what they did.
I was one of the last to go, and after hearing a dozen people rattle off lists of features about their business that were as dry as could be, I got an inspiration on how to present myself.
When my turn came, my presentation was, “I sell the most precious, valuable commodity on earth. What I sell is time.” I then went on to describe how my company’s products and services allowed our customers to save time.
I knew this would stand out, and was right. At least four or five people came up to me afterwards and told me they really liked my presentation, one of them a high level business consultant who asked for my card.
Simple pattern interrupt that framed the highly specialized and narrow product I sell in a way that interested everyone in the room. Most of them would have had no idea what my product did if I tried to explain it to them. Showing benefits and not features as everyone else was doing made me stand out in the crowd.